South African English: Now, Now, NOW

As Nelson Mandela once allegedly said, "if you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart." I am going for the jugular with this week’s South African English post.

  “Now”
Americans often have a knack for being overly precise about time and timeliness, especially in business situations. As every career-advancement-for-dummies book tells you, "if you are early, you are on time; if you are on time, you are late." South Africans have a much different sense of time and timeliness that comes to bear in a bewildering way: "now" does not actually mean "now."

I brought my car into the mechanic the other month. They promised to send a driver to take me to the garage to pick up my car, which proved to be easier said than done:

Mechanic: Our driver is leaving now.

Me: Great. I will go out on the street and wait.

[thirty minutes pass]

 Me: Where is the driver? I have been waiting for some time.

Mechanic: He will be there just now.

Me: You said he was leaving thirty minutes ago?!

Mechanic: He left just now.

[twenty minutes pass]

 Mechanic: The driver got lost and came back to the garage. He is leaving again now now.

The driver has yet to arrive. I have been on foot and bicycle ever since. But I learned valuable lessons about time and urgency.

--

"Now now" conveys urgency. It means “right now at this very moment.” In practice, however, it tells you to lay off the urgency, bru, and that you will get my attention when I please.

Waitron: I will bring the menu now now.

[ Translation: I might come back in 5 minutes. I might not! Only time will tell. I hope you are not particularly hungry. ]

 

"Just now" conveys mild hurry. (For you foodies out there, mild hurry is a type of traditional Cape Malay hurry. It is rich in flavor but not too hot. Takes forever to make though.) It means "in a moment" or "a moment ago." In practice, it tells you to chill out, boss, relax, you can have a seat, I have other things to do.

Friend: I parked the car just now. I will be at the club just now.

[ Translation: I am still at home in my pajamas.]

Settle down, boys. The doctor will be with you just now.

"Now" conveys deliberateness. It means "sometime soon." In practice, it tells you to go take a hike, no, really, do it, you will enjoy the fresh air, I will not be acting any time soon, plus the weather is fickle here in winter so you must enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.

Business colleague: I will call you back now.

[ Translation: You are low on my list of things to do. If I do not get to you in the next hour, I will go on leave for a week, but I will not mention this. You will have to find that out on your own. ]

These grapes will become wine now.

"Later" is not used in practice. If it were, I imagine it would mean "when Hades freezes over." In practice, it would tell you where you can stick it.

Capetonian Acquaintance: I hate to cancel our dinner plans tonight but my goldfish is sick. We must reschedule later. I swear on my mother’s grave.

[ Translation: I do not like you. I never should have agreed to have dinner with you, but I was too polite to turn the invitation down. I would rather sit at home alone. Also, I do not have a goldfish and my mother is alive and well. ]

"Eventually" is also not used in practice, but South African politicians must begin incorporating it in their rhetoric to improve transparency:

Politician: We will stamp out corruption in South Africa eventually. 

[ Translation: Keep up those service delivery protests. ]

I have practiced my South African language on time and timeliness over the past few weeks. I am getting to be quite the professional. Here, look: I made fun of Capetonian standoffishness just now. I will finish writing this blog post now now and will publish it just now. I will read your comments now, think about them later, and respond to them eventually.

South African English: You Must

As George Bernard Shaw (or Oscar Wilde, or Winston Churchill, or perhaps even Martin Luther King, Jr.) never said, the United States and South Africa are two nations divided by an uncommon language. And that language is Xhosa. No, wait, English.

I have had the pleasure to encounter a bevy of delightful South African linguistic quirks in Cape Town, and it would be my pleasure to introduce them to you every week. With only minimal further ado:

-

“You Must”

Locals in Cape Town often implore you to see a good film (usually an American one) or to visit a new restaurant (oddly enough, also usually an American one).

South African Friend, Eagerly: You must visit the Eastern Food Bazaar.

Me: Is it closing down this week?

SAFE: You must try the pizza.

Me: Why the urgency? Why are you ordering me around?!

SAFE: When you go you must get the pizza with lamb mince.

Me: All right, fine! I’ll go and try the flippin' pizza. Just let me be.

After several weeks of being intimidated into particular food, drink, and cultural choices, I discovered that my friends were merely making cordial recommendations. They were deploying “must” where I, Captain America, would venture a meek “should” or “may wish to think about considering the benefits.” “You must try the pizza” simply connoted that the pizza is good.

You may wish to consider getting out of the way of the President's convoy of large, fancy cars.

The excessive “must”-iness appears to come from two places: lack of urgency and frankness.

Lack of Urgency: South Africans in general, and Capetonians in particular, seem to constitute a relatively laid-back lot. There may simply not be anything sufficiently urgent to warrant the use of “must” as an imperative. One shudders to think what happens to things one “should” do here:

• I should respond to your calls and emails? Perhaps tomorrow – or weeks later!
• I should have your car ready this afternoon? I meant next week. We should order a part.
• Government officials should stop funneling public funds to renovate their huge mansions? But those are the benefits of being in government!

Frankness: South Africans have a penchant for frankness. They will cut to the chase and ask you the hard questions (especially when trying to sell you a used car – oy vey!). They criticize Americans for beating around the bush too much and for being too polite. (Americans too polite? Could have fooled me.) So in the unlikely event that there were something sufficiently urgent to warrant the imperative, it would not be sugarcoated with “must” and would be at very high volume, e.g., “Try the pizza tonight or face certain doom!”